The Voices in Your (Strengths) Head
It’s a voice that isn’t audible to anyone else and it is as real and powerful as any voice we experience in our lives.
You know the one I’m talking about.
It’s the voice that says, “You don’t have what it takes.” It’s the voice that says, “You ain’t got the skills.” It’s the voice that says, “You’re not smart enough.” These are just a sampling of the exaggerations the voice claims about who you are, not only as a professional, but right down to your very identity as a person.
It’s the voice that makes us think we have nothing offer. It is a very powerful voice. Too often, when I add the voice of my own will to this silent, but very loud, voice in my head, the chorus I experience is not particularly pleasant, it’s sounds more like discord. Because, the voice in our head often puts us in an awkward and melancholy mood as we wake up in the morning or when we make the next sales call. It leaves us feeling deflated, all the more so if we don’t quickly and regularly get an affirmation that somewhat balances it out. With this voice in our ear, it’s easy to really start believing that we suck.
Even when you can get the negative voice to be quiet, the alternative voices you hear can be, in a totally different way, just as bad.
It’s when that same voice in your head says your good but not great. You might be good at that one thing, but only that one thing. The voice might sound like, “Yeah, okay, you’re good at that, but so what?” It’s a pitcher who strikes out hundreds of batters in a season only to have someone assert that, since he didn’t hit any home runs all season, he must not be very good at baseball because don’t all good baseball players hit home runs? Maybe we are successful at silencing the “you suck” voice, but because of the (just as common) “good, not great” voice, we are still tempted to take what we are really good at for granted.
So much of coaching begins at seeking to silence-or at least to balance-these paralyzing voices. Strengths coaching begins with a reminder that you have talent. And not just a little bit of it. In every individual, talent combines with other talent to provide a unique “special sauce” that only a particular individual can serve up. When utilizing the CliftonStrengths tools, the odds of two different individuals having the exact same grouping of talent is greater than 1 in 30 million. Coaching provides the space to know, remember, and ultimately understand that it’s impossible for you to not have talent.
From that starting point of knowing our talents, quieting the negative voices in our heads is helped by being reminded we are not only good, but are great at something, and it doesn’t have to stop there. In fact, coaching is investing in our talent—those natural thoughts, feelings and behaviors—which actually lead to strengths. Most of us have grown up thinking that we have to invest in our weaknesses (areas of non-talent) in order to be successful.
Strengths coaching is a process that seeks to help you not only understand, but to embrace your strengths over and above your weaknesses. It is in our areas of talent, present even from our earliest years, that we have the greatest potential to grow and make a difference in who we are and what we do and how we hear the voices in our heads.
So hear this voice: You have talent! You have something to share that matters!
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